It's never straight up and down

Shut up Luke, football is pretty shit. Well I have been sort of busy so heres a long one for you oh baby minge syringe. Erm firstly DEVO were bonkers good, like at least 2 times as good as duran duran or something, no really though it was proper, hang on, propper, 2 p's for extra freshness. Heres a picture, I think bad quality is the new good quality so I'll still fit in round shoreditch.

Oh that is such a nice arm, I'll take 2 please
Mark Mothersbaugh gave me about 7 high fives and we promised we would never lose touch again, I got some new boards, I'm not riding one in this clip because this is from the up and coming 'Hold tight Beeston' it will probs be da bomb and such.

Yeah that was good wasnt it, heres Luke and his girlfriend, I'm just glad she gets to see his sensitive side and see him naked even though everyone who knows him sees him in the scudd very oftenly.

Yerp I hope theres no limit to things in a post or something but look at this. I think I've only ever done this once, oh wait no I havent, I do it all the fucking time so maybe i should do a different thing once in a while. Heres a video of another trick I have done loads of times, Saffron walden was pretty cool, then we went to Harlow and funnily enough we bumped into Paul, he's pretty cool I guess, he did a proper jump to fall off and did an ouch.

WHEYYYYYYYY!

Oh I spoil you lot I really do, heres one of the genuine lads after DEVO did their shit and that guy was a dick.


Hey! Erm yer we ate some sarnies at Harlow, oh yeah and Luke was a stupid and fell off right onto his back like flat out 180 degrees horizontal in the air, slipped over like an old lady in the snow.

Erm yeah I guess that's not really that much gone on if you think about it, I don't mind atall or anything. I've eaten too much food lately but Jamaican ginger cake is well good with ice cream like uh - oh straight to me hipz and that. Heres quite a nice composition and stunter, I'm out or something, You're fired!

Clackervalve

Man United! BANG, BANG, BANG!

So it now seems official, My Man United hat attracts all the local rascals. Three times now ive got into altercations with these cocks. Its mainly people shouting obscenities, such as Manc prick or Dick head all because i wear my beloved United beanie. Ive grown up with martial arts and self defense, and steering away from confrontations and violence. But recently that seems to of gone right out the window. The first altercation walking out of an alleyway into two black youths of course an accident unfortunatly the other two didnt see it that way, names are called one being "you fat wanker".

Now hold up their darling dont even go down that route of course everyone knows i can string together some badass phrases. Cant really remember what i said but obviously offensive enougth for the lad to throw a punch. Now its not really legal what i did but lets just say i gave him a seeing to nothing physical but enougth so he knew id right bollock him. Second case was at a cash point not going into that, i wasnt proud what i did their, but the situation occoured in the first place because some bloke simply said "You Manc Prick".

Too which i flicked him the bird, Probally not the best of moves.

Now the reason i bring it up is because it happened again today. I was simply walking back from my house to get some washing up liquid to take back to my Uncles to which im currently staying while hes on holiday. 3 people. 2 male 1 female 17-18 now i presume the ring leader some lanky, Arse flashing, Wonky hat bellend gives me a stare of course sees my hat and he says "Man United BANG BANG BANG".

Hold up you little shit i quick wittily reply "Fucking tosser BANG BANG BANG".

Of course this anus gobbler found that to be offensive so he gave it the big en' and brought his forehead to mine, Not the best of move i tell him to get out my way of course he dosent so i tell him again this time for your benefit get out of the way the other berk with him laughs and tells his mate to knock me out. Now its fairly easy to tell when someones going to hit you unfortunuatly he didnt know this he rotated his shoulder to which i step in with my left foot forearm block the punch, grab the arm, move in with my right foot, twist my body arse to his dick, knees bent i lean in to him to to take him of balance and give a banging sweeping hip throw now hes rolling about on the floor winded, i presume. You cant beat a good Harai Goshi. Think thats how its spelt.

Now i hope im not coming across as a total cock monkey i thought this would make great bloging material. I tried not to make it like a action/thriller script but o well.

Now im just kicking it back waiting for the rugby and the boxing tonight all i need now is a saints win and a Ricky Hatton victory doubt it though. Heres a pic of me setup.

Not forgeting the essentials!

Im outta here MWAH

I need to learn more tricks on my skateboard <:-) Wankers

Like wow and hey

These look shit but beleive you me like wow and oh my word, I think Halloumi is my new fave as far as cheese is concerned, hesh.

Oh and I drew a picture for the first time in ages just a minute ago, am i cool?


What else? Oh we went to Jubbs the other night, was sort of a laugh but it's abit too much like a youth club round there and shit, heres my bike I ride it, its not a fixie though because I'm not a cunt.
I'm sure there was something else I had a photo of or something? Mate my farts have been smelling like a right medley of onion and garlic these past few days I don't even know what is up. That was it all along, I bought this CD it looks sick but I guess ill have to take some time out, pour myself a G&T and pop it on, have a listen, I wish i could blog more often but im on a tight schedule. Bang!

Consume my Rectum

Hello! Oh hey jerk-wad! Hello! We (me and my dad) went to Saffron Walden again today becuase we always go there, it is mad fresh. My ankle is still abit flimsy so im limited to me stunters but I thought it would be a good oppurtunity to capture some rare street footage of Old McBloke, 46 years old + 6 stairs = No Pwoblem!

Mildly curry-y is what some bloke just said on 'come eat with me plz' good programme

Did you have a good day?

Yes I did thanks

Then I made/ate this sweet combo, cheesey chips, chili, salad and a slab of wicked bad bread. Dung!

Until next time, I think I'm going to tidy my room

It's Phenomenal

This is your captain speaking, we will shortly be experiencing some turbulence.

Whiff me kecks next time youre in town, shocking!

Holy Jesus What a Hunk

Jake recently posted a new blog. So its about time i did, Now id like to say ive been busy not to post anything but the truth is im totally shit. I hurt my back like a month or so back, Now everytime i go skating or any physical activity the next day it canes like a slag, I say day but it depends you think its fine go to shred the tits off something and oh bugger me back. So thats quite annoying. Now jake posted that awsome picture of himself in his delightful towel, Of course i have to top that! So i belive i have set your eyes on this bad boy

Now i dont know about you but i think i look shit off fine. Hopefully ill be up for some skateboarding this weekend and now Jake has his camera back. So im certain they'll be a megga awsome sweet videy piccy blog. laters XX

Yeah I pretty much have polka dots on every item of clothing I own

Alright Massive cunts, it's been ages and I guess Im just like well sorry. Only joking, it does'nt matter one bit. Erm yeah I suppose a fair bit has been going down, the Bedford skatep[ark opening thing had a bit of a gay atmosphere about it but it was sick as tits for Marc Churchell and Greg man to make an appearance, I know it's their jobs an bits but anyway it was pretty awe inspiring. I had a bath the other night, oh yeah that's another thing, I got some shitty point and shoot for this blog, thats blog dedication right there, this one's for all my fans.

What else? Oh me and Tash checked out the new mexican spot in Bedford and I was pretty impressed so I got on the trip and I was just saying to myself 'You can do this, like hold your head up high and stuff like that you're number one head honcho' then i made this for me tea, erm Yeah if you're thinking of buying refried beans then don't because theyre well easy to make.

Hasta La Vista, Dinner!

Mmm tasting good and tasty lick my lips, Also me and my father did a little 'not-in-a-car' skateboard mission at quite early in the morning, went to this green wood or something, then to brixton / stockwell call it whatever, pretty sick and then cantelowes where we pretty much just went so the old man could drop some chocolatey orphans off at the pool and never pick them back up again, bad parenting. What a don! Whacked out of his mind on bits of wood with bits stuck to them practically just laying it down like that.

Hello and thank you and hello again before i put another picture up here because im just keeping this weB LOG and everyones going mad for it, rabies style. I wish i had some sort of up to date video footage of a jump and/or spin. But alas I dont got it like that.

Beige is the new tartan. Chocolate boxing gloves all round!

Yeah so we went to Sweet time saffy the other night and i did a hurt on my ankle cos I'm a mincer more often than not, trying to get all boss man on a trizzer but its alright, this resulted in an impromptu (Fuck off because if thats spelt right then wicked but if its wrong then im only doing it to take the piss or something) trip to a reputable high street supermarket where I went truly off me rocker for some discounted goods, does anyone know how to spell result?

Its proper terrible but I actually ate all these bar 2, I am fat + cool = T-shirt that says something on it like 'Get your pulled, you've coat' mind you I would actually love that on a tshirt that would be funny. See you later, I'll like never forget you and stuff awww, yer until next time. Check Tash getting buck wiuld by the w-w-w-window.

HA HA HA I am funny

Yo macaroons don't touch the fabric, it's spesh. Here's a thing
Oops, it was 2 things, sometimes I'm just so daft, give me my own programme motherfucker. Oh look what on earth is that in the distance? Phew, it was just another thing like below this writing there is one of.

Thought it was pretty funny, comin' up 09 so don't mess, listen to 'Take my breath away by Berlin' you'll love it/it's shit. Oh yeah and I drew this, I just thought the concept was pretty funny its not drawn accurately or nuffin but who do you think I am, flippin' Leonardo Dicaprio or something? Likewise, OMG long time no see. Yeah aswell as far as actual useful stuff goes I've visited Hereford, Perdiswell and Saffron Wobbler in the past few days, shit's pretty tight, unlike Luke's jeans oooooooo stop losing weight thinny. I would have loved to provide photographic evidence and junk but my camera has been jacked up for a while by someone so I just cannot. Thank you and goodnight!

"Blog me senseless Mr. Darcy"

Kewt right? Hey of course im going to post a picture of myself this is what I do, for all you non-beleivers out there, check this bad boy puffer face front jump.

Another thing, this was a while ago now, but me and Bromley were researching our family trees and turns out that we're direct descendents of the 2 coolest people that ever existed, which kinda rocks and junk.

Bromley's hurt his ankle and Luke's hurt his back on the Wii fit or something gay like that, or from when he was playing strip buckaroo with his fraternity. Erm yeah there probably is more crap I could post with me as the centre of attention, I love myself and that.

Try not to let this video melt your brain through the means of radioactive awesomeness and stoke-itude rays. I need to make about 24 pasties tonight. Erm not epic fail or something, bye.

Salty Back

So Jake, Karl, Bromley and myself went to Denmark and Sweden last year. Iwas looking through all the pictures and videos and came across this bad boy.

For the record im not that fat anymore, that video sure does nothing for my figure. Malmo sure is lovely.